Wedding Advice
Reprinted
Article by Peter Dutton
The biggest piece of
advice, advice which I rarely came across in my reading through
all the advice books, is that your guests will have fun pretty
much no matter what you do. They are there to have a good time.
This even goes for those annoying relatives who insisted that
you absolutely have to wear petunias and raised such a fuss when
you went ahead and ordered begonias instead. Once the wedding
starts, they'll forget all about it. And if they don't, instead
complaining that everything is utterly ruined throughout the
entire day, well, then you're glad they're having a miserable
time, right?
So do what you want. Sing if you want to (as long as you can
sing well, preferably. You don't want to actively chase away
your guests).
The corollary to that (and this is even rarer and better advice)
is that your guests notice a lot less about what's going on than
you do. You have been elbow-deep in the wedding planning. As a
consequence, you know the size of every napkin, the color of
every ribbon, the number of hours you spent picking out suitable
favors. Your guests, on the other hand, might notice that the
bride is wearing a big white poofy dress.
Consider your first day at a new job. All your new coworkers
know everything about anything, it seems, while you can't
remember where the bathroom is. Now switch places. Of course you
know everything about your wedding. Your guests just can't -
they're too overwhelmed with trying to talk to you, grab an
appetizer, and pick up a date for the evening at the same time
to notice that the coasters are the exact same shade as the
bridesmaid's fingernail polish.
Heck, we had printed up table cards that had our new address and
phone number on the back (which we thought was a great idea).
Every guest got one, of course. And you wouldn't believe the
number of people who asked us for our new address after the
reception. Not because they lost their card. But because they
didn't even notice the address was there in the first place and
thus didn't bother to keep it!
And then remember, since the reception is just a big party,
that, despite what the Evil Wedding Industry says, there's
nothing that you have to do. (This doesn't necessarily apply to
your choice of service, of course. That's between you and your
efficient and the local government.) As for the reception, if
you don't want to do it, don't do it. If you do want to do it,
do it. Simple as that.
Putting this all together can save you both money and annoyance.
An example of a specific application of this would be save a few
bucks and ditch the aisle runner. Either people won't notice,
won't care that you don't have one, or won't say anything
because the wedding still took place without it. And money
aside, ditching a little thing like that means a little less to
worry about (where to get one, arguing over what it should look
like, who is going to unroll it, when is it going to be
delivered, who has to remove it from the church, etc.), and
therefore a little less that can go wrong. And little things
will add up in a big way. And suddenly you're happier, as long
as you ignore the protestations of your parents.
That brings me to another piece of advice. Ignore the
protestations of your parents. It might not be easy, and you may
eventually have to give in a little here and there. But you'll
be happier if you can smile and nod and then do what you want
anyway.
It's amazing what one can do away with and still have a charming
semi-formal reception that everyone will enjoy. It's amazing how
nearly nobody told us they noticed that most of this was
missing. And it made our wedding that much more not like
everyone else's.
|
